The Uprise of Low self esteem…

Many define self esteem as arrogance, selfishness but I agree with Gael Lindenfield’s definition which asserts that :it is a state of being.
In many communities even in Nigeria, People detest the tag of exhibiting a low self esteem…but the truth is many people have this dysfunction. It is not based on an intentional decision, many have developed a low self esteem even right from childhood unconsciously.
The issue at hand is that so many countries lack public education on the subject matter as well as support programs to assist people.

How do people develop a low self esteem?
A few sources of low self esteem is highlighted below;
~a family member who has drug or alcohol problem could hurt a child’s self esteem. A father with drug or alcohol problems will definitely exhibit it one way or the other either by maltreating.
~physical/verbal/sexual or neglection from a parent(such as critical parents, lack of care and affection from parents) could trigger a low self esteem.
~codependent relationships where your inputs are considered “never good enough”…when one is not appreciated.
~disastrous relationships with parents, peers or spouse.
~developmental disability( such as mental retardation, seizure) and chronic diseases such as HIV, STDs etc.
~personal failure such as poor academic performance, divorce, bankruptcy, dropping out of school.

Usually a low self esteem arises from childhood and keeps getting low even unto adulthood if not well addressed.
The negative behavioral consequences results from a ruptured self esteem which could result into a “chronic low self esteem”. A few of such negative consequences are:
~unresolved loss and grief: repressing and denying feelings or not reacting to emotional responses to death of a loved one, a lost relationships.
~self destructive habits such as excessive intake of alcohol, overindulgence in food and gambling.
~Problems with controlling: when an individual over controls people, events or circumstances, that could arise due to a ruptured self esteem.
~ Distorted anger: most times when people express extreme anger, that’s because they have a problem withtheir self-esteem. Anger is a healthy emotion but when distorted, it affects relationship with people.
~Faulty communication: inability to listen to others talk less of comprehending what they actually mean.

However, so many people repress previous unfavorable events which then leads to the development of one or more of the following personality traits which are considered “defense mechanism personalities”(trying to fake good either in a negative or positive way) They include:
~looking good
~pulling in
~acting out
~entertaining
~enabling
~troubled person
~people pleasing
~rescuing
~non-feeling

It is not uncommon to confuse  arrogance with a healthy self esteem. So many people we consider as having a healthy self esteem actually are arrogant. As a person with a healthy self esteem is actually comfortable to be around as they help others build a healthy self esteem as well.
How then can we build a healthy self-esteem?
In a developing country like Nigeria with various cultural beliefs, many people actually shy away from the thought of meeting with a counselor or therapist.
But there are certain self-help tips that one could employ..such is the the write up by “substance abuse and mental health services administration(SAMSHA)…copy and open the link below for self-help tips on developing a healthy self-esteem.

http://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content//SMA-3715/SMA-3715.pdf
For further reading, check out: Model Of self-esteem|LIVESTRONG.COM

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “The Uprise of Low self esteem…

  1. an awesome piece… i use to fall in that category, but to be realistic here, not everyone has access to a counselor, note that!. always remember that this is Nigeria. you wont expect a govt sec. school student who falls in this kinda predicament to av access to a counselor… what are the personal means of getting rid of this “disorder”?

  2. Pingback: “I” Messages: Parenting Strategies :The Psych Life

  3. Pingback: Don’t Let It Get To You | Our Birth Write

  4. Pingback: All is Forgotten « Brandon Bored

  5. Pingback: How low self-esteem could affect your career | The Career Advisor

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s