Archive | August 2013

ARE YOU THINKING OF LIGHTENING YOUR SKIN?: Psychological and medical implications of using skin-lightening creams

SSL Quote on Skin-care: Never apply on your skin what you can not eat.

Many black women are sold the idea that lighter skin is more desirable, forcing some to resort to creams to try to change their color.
Some women even believe that the fairer you are the more likely one is to become successful socially, economically and romantically
I know we have heard this over and over again that bleaching the skin can cause cancer(of the kidney and skin) and some of us even abuse or make jest of those who bleach but yet we “codedly” mix creams in our bedrooms. Meanwhile when we go for events or occasions, we criticize those who have bleached their skin.
The worse of all is those who do not know they are bleaching but suddenly realize how clear/fair their skin is and then conclude they are getting fresher.
It is however important we check the ingredients in the products we buy before purchasing them. Don’t just read the short notes on the product those are just “marketing stunts”. Focus on the ingredients, research on the product to know the pros and cons. Read the reviews from other people as well. And if there are no reviews, then be sure that’s just an over-the-counter cream that was mixed in one room to be sold to the desperate women who want to get yellow by all means forgetting that a cream that you buy over-the-counter may NOT be medically approved and could permanently damage your skin.
So, I did my research and decided to write this article because of my fellow sisters and women who are about to or are already making the mistake of lightening their skin.
Below are the psychological and medical implications of skin lightening creams:
A survey carried out by the british skin foundation found out that 16% of dermatologists believe lightening creams are completely “unsafe” and 80% believe those prescribed by dermatologists are safe.
Indy Rihal of the british skin foundation also stated that most skin lightening creams contain illegal compounds that can damage your health.
Some of which are: hydroquinone, the most common bleaching agent. Steriods is a common compound which is original used to cure skin diseases such as psoriasis and eczema. Mercury is another dangerous chemical that is found in skin lightening creams that sicken women. Some of the symptoms of mercury toxicity in creams include: irritability, headaches, memory loss, numbness, tingling in the hands, feet or around the lips, insomnia, depression and weight loss.
Skin lightening creams can cause permanent skin bleaching, thinning of the skin, uneven color loss, leading to a blotchy appearance, redness and intense irritation.
So, just before you decide to buy that lightening cream, think again!
Just to add, the World Health organization(WHO) asserts that 77% of Nigerians use bleaching creams. Please help reduce this figure.
Remember beauty is Skin deep.

Some of the contents in this article were culled from the links below, further reading could be done as well;


How to rekindle the spark in your love-life.

Sometimes we lose the spark in our love lives, we ignore our mates and get carried away. Other times we just get too comfortable that the love life begins to wither. See what Psychologists have to say about that and how to rekindle that spark once more…

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Lady Unique Forum: Dating for 4years and I dont love him.

Good afternoon Ladies unique,
As you know this is a platform for ladies to share their opinions on a particular topic of concern.
Please do share your views you can choose to be Anonymous or include your name.
Your opinion(s) should be posted on the “comment area”

Here is the Topic of concern(TOC) of the day:
Hello ladies, I have been dating this guy for 4years but suddenly it feels strange to marry him. He just proposed and wants to marry me but I do not love him that much. How do I tell him how I feel without crushing his emotions?

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Understanding self-hatred.

When the inner self has been battered with self- criticism you begin to speak negativity to and about yourself. Even when people appreciate something you hate about yourself, you instantly feel they are being deceptive or untruthful.
You gnash your teeth at positive compliments that should build you up. A poor outlook of yourself leaves you feeling bitter most of the time.
One major source of self hatred is childhood experience. A period of time when the child is with his or her Parents. If the child gets demeaning words from parents, guardians or even siblings it would tell on how he or she reacts to self.
A situation whereby one or both Parents never appreciate anything you do or sees you as not “good enough” leaves a scar on your inner self.
Another source is early adulthood, a period of time when you relate with friends either of same or opposite sex. What these people say about you determines how you feel, act and think about yourself.
Self hatred is in stages and it doesn’t just start in a day.
Parents learn to speak positively to your kids. Build love in your home and teach your kids to love one another. Do not condone any form of envy or jealousy among them. And treat them equally without showing that you love one more than the other.

Siblings avoid speaking negatively about each other. Learn to love yourselves because you can never have a sister or a brother anywhere else.

When you begin to grow and mingle with people outside of your family, people called “friends” watch out for those you allow into your cycle. Don’t allow negative people. Relate with people but don’t get too close to someone that breeds negativity of any kind.

Why do you think people hate themselves?
Let me know your suggestions and opinions on what you think causes self-hatred and share your experience.
Feel free to share on twitter, facebook or BBM.

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Ah! It’s sunday again.

As usual sunday is here. Everyone rushing to church to probably get the first seat or look straight into the Pastor’s eyes so the words can sink in.
Or should I say not rushing to church so you can have a back seat and mingle with friends and take a look at who has the nicest shoes or whose dress is gorgeous.
Or better still you stroll to church about the time church is going to end so Mum and Dad won’t say you didn’t go to church.
Any which way, church is Church. You make up the church and you are needed there.

But I have come to realize people have so found solace in deceiving not any other person but themselves.
First before you criticize me, I am a Christian.
But we like to deceive ourselves. Now that you are in church or you are not in church, you feel you are better than the other person who didn’t go or you think you have committed the greatest of sins for not attending church today.
What is your motive for going to church?
Now that you look perfectly dressed outside what about the inside?

Most christians have lost it in this religious race and it is disheartening.
We try to let the world know we are christians but does our actions show we are? Does God even know you are?

The moment every one on earth realizes that God didn’t create us for religion but for relationship, that is when most of those in self-bondage will release themselves. Self-bondage of trying to be holier than others, trying to look decent, trying not to wear make-up because you think it is sinful, trying not wear deodorant(ha!!!) because you think it’s the devil that makes it, trying not to have a relationship with the opposite sex because you feel it would destroy your faith in God. But NOT trying to judge other people. That is the easiest for most people.

Let God be the one in charge stop trying to avoid making mistakes because you will make a whole lot that way.

Avoid pointing fingers at others and you will experience lesser headaches in life.

Live and let live and your joy will overflow.

Listen and learn but sieve out what you think is incorrect(have a mind of your own).

And know that going to church or being a worker or minister doesn’t make you better than those seated in the congregation.
Okay, let me save the rest for later.
Have a blessed sunday and don’t count fine shoes anymore nor look out for who wears brazilian hair.

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I stumbled upon this book sometimes in November last year. It is a book for women but men could learn from it as well to help the women around them.
It was written by Joyce Meyer, a best selling author in New York. It is a book that explains and defines what a confident woman should be. It explains the duties and highlights the responsibilities of a woman and a wife.
The book is called THE CONFIDENT WOMAN.
In it, Joyce Meyer shared a lot of useful tips by relating it biblically and realistically. She emphasized on FEAR and how it prevents women from doing what they are meant to do as well as living boldly and peacefully. She also talked about the “Proverbs 31 woman”.
Its a must add to the shelf. It is well packed.
From all that was written in the book, she shared seven secrets of confident women which I will be sharing with you.
Secret #1- A confident woman knows that she is loved. Love is the healing balm that the world needs, and God offers it freely and continuously.
It is not uncommon to see women who feel unloved. There are women who feel so bad about themselves that they get involved with men that will hurt them, because they believe that is all they deserve.
A confident woman however does not fear being unloved, because she knows first and foremost that God loves her unconditionally.
To be whole and complete, we need to know that we are loved.

Secret #2- A confident woman refuses to live in fear.
“I will not fear” is the only acceptable attitude we can have towards fear. That doesn’t mean that we will never feel fear, but it does mean that we will not allow it to rule our decisions and actions.
Unless we make a firm decision to “fear not”, we will never be free from the power of it. Fear seems to be epidemic in our society. Are you afraid of anything? Is it rejection, failure, the past, the future, loneliness, driving, aging, the dark, heights, life or death? The list of fears that people experience can be endless. However, one has to firmly make their mind up that they will not live in fear.
Fear prevents one from making progress. For instance, fear of people not opening the link to read this could have prevented me from posting this article, but confidence says try and the turn out could be overwhelming.

Secret #3- A confident woman is positive.
Confidence and negativity do not go together. They are like oil and water, they simply do not mix. Being positive or negative is a CHOICE- it is a way of thinking, speaking and acting. Either one comes from a habit that has been formed in our lives through repetitious behavior.
Thinking negatively makes you miserable. Why be miserable when you can be happy.

Secret #4- A confident woman recovers from set backs.
We don’t need to see setbacks as failure. A person is not a failure because she tried some things that did not work out. She fails only when she stops trying.
Don’t ever say “I just cannot go on”. Instead say, I can do whatever I need to do through christ who strengthens me. I will never quit, because God is on my side.

Secret #5- A confident woman avoids comparisons.
Confidence is not possible as long as we compare ourselves with other people. No matter how good we look, how talented we are, or how successful we are, there is always someone that is better and sooner or later we will run into them. Confidence is found in doing the best we can with what we have to work with and not comparing ourselves with others and competing with them. Our joy shouldn’t be found in being better than others, but in being the best we can be.

Secret #6- A confident woman takes action.
There are two types of people in the world. The ones who WAIT for something to happen and the ones who MAKE something to happen.
Some people are naturally shy, while others are naturally bold, but with God on our side we can live in the supernatural, not natural.
We all have something to overcome. A naturally bold person has to overcome pride, excessive aggression and false confidence, while the naturally shy must overcome anxiety, timidity, the temptation to withdraw from challenges and low confidence.
God works through our faith, not our fear.

Secret #7- A confident woman does not live in “if only” and “what if”.
The world is filled with people who feel empty and unfulfilled because they have spent their lives bemoaning what they did not have, instead of using what they do have. Don’t live in the tyranny of “if only”. If only I had more education, more money, more opportunity or someone to help me. If only I had a better start in life, if only I had not been abused; if only I were taller. If only I were so tall…

I have shared just a tiny little fragment of the book. You shouldn’t miss out on all that is in it.
My favorite secret of all the secrets is “a confident woman is positive”. And that is because I have been able to relate with negative people who find faults while they actually have something they are hiding that’s worse off.
Anyway, you should share your favorite secrets with me via the comment arena and we will address together.

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