If we say we are all perfectly okay mentally then we deceive our self. That is to say we have never experienced pain, nor have we been heartbroken if not by a partner or spouse by a friend or parent.
If we say we are normal and fine up there that we have nothing we worry about then we lie to our own self.
As humans we have one or two things to worry about either relating to the past, present or future and this thing is the center of our thought most times when we happen to be alone.
Our worry centers on such things as : Will I ever get a job? How will I survive? Will I ever find someone who will love me? Will I ever be normal again after such a horrible past? What will I tell my kids? Will I ever survive this ailment? Will I ever love this man/woman again? And it goes on and on.
We know what we worry about, we know that thing that kills us inside. You have never shared it with anyone, you have tried to share it with someone, it makes you feel awful and hate your own existence. You appear to be fine most times but its all a lie; cause you know deep down how hurt, miserable and heartbroken you are, you have been lied to, stabbed in the back, betrayed and even abused by the people you thought loved you the most, the people you felt could give you their eye so you can see, the ones you thought are friends or family but end up being otherwise.
Your mind has been ruptured by such people and you find it hard to forgive them or even yourself for even giving them a tiny chance in your life.
Now you are left alone and all these crazy thoughts come to mind if to just end it or move on or just pretend to be fine
But you know it won’t work, no amount of pretence will heal you, you need that help but you don’t know where or how to get it, you don’t know who to talk to that won’t betray your trust again, you don’t know who will accept you after all the mess.
You’ve tried to help yourself several times but you failed, you keep failing.
One universal thing in life is Pain. We all have been through a kind of pain or the other. But the degree or level is what differs and what defines us as individuals. However one thing is certain that one who has two legs can help carry the one who has no legs at all. One who is okay to certain level can help the one who is struggling.
But remember no matter what you’re going through, there’s someone out there with a worse condition and you can always try again and start again. Challenge your energy into giving yourself a second chance.

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One two three four….
It is done and the regret sets in
The “why’s” and “had I knowns”
The tears of shamefulness
But it appeared to be alright to go ahead
With all the nonsense and irrational behaviors
But now its all gone
Left bitter inside
Feelings of hopelessness
But wait….
Mistakes are powerful
You did it, you’ve done it
Whether anyone noticed or not
The guilt remains in you
Sometimes you pen it down in your diary but other times you decide not to
You keep it all up in your mind
In that tiny corner of your heart
Where only you can reach and perhaps someone you fall in love with
Or may be not someone you fall in love with maybe just a stranger
Someone you met along the line
But you needed to say something about it and just ventilate your mind
It was driving you crazy
That’s to say
Mistakes are powerful
But who the hell doesn’t make one?
All that should matter to you is showing so much love to yourself
To do what you can to help yourself
To stay happy
Having in mind that your positive reaction towards it is more powerful
To pick yourself back up and move on
To clean the tears with the white handkerchief
Leaving only the stain of mascara on it
But not your own happiness on it
Staying focused as the days go by
Forgiving yourself
Moving on, move on
You’ve made it, I’ve made it, everyone has made a silly mistake
And we all know how powerful it can be
But take this with you as you swing your hips and lift your head up to look straight into the eyes of life
Never ever repeat the same mistake.

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Class One:…But do u qualify as a “wifey”?

Men actually see through the personality of a woman when they are “ready”. It is then that they “fish” out the “real” wifey material. If you think he would choose you because of your beauty, darling you are deceived. If at that time, he his carried away by your beauty, a truly ready man will discard you as soon as possible so he can move on to the next “wifey material”.
Whether he is a good or bad man, responsible or irresponsible, a man knows what he wants. And its a woman who will give him PEACE.
Stop hooking up with him, giving him all the sex. If you do not qualify for his wifey material. Girl, he will discard you. And that’s where the heartache begins.
Why not save yourself the heartache and start working on being the “wifey material”…
If you truly show traits of a wife without deceiving yourself, he will definitely hold on to you.
A man wants a valuable woman deep down even if he appreciates your beauty. Start being valuable and not just available!
Think about this!

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Class Two: Build up your skills and values

As a woman, you have areas of strength that you can work on or improve on. By doing this, you are preparing yourself for the future that you are yet to experience. Someday, sometime you would meet a man who would need your strength to help him pull through hard times.
For instance,working on your ability to encourage people with words can help you encourage your man.
Also brushing up on your cooking skills can help you provide food(a major source of physical strength for the family).
However, not only are skills necessary, values are very important as well. The value you develop stays with you forever. Values build up your attitude towards life.
Unlearn and learn new values.

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Class three: You attract someone like you at the end of the day.

It is commonly said that opposite attract but sometimes in a way or the other, you attract someone who has similar values as you.
So watch it when you over do things, don’t over have fun that can make you regret your actions.
Find friends that will uplift you and not draw you back. Look out for people who would help you improve your behavior.
Don’t be too far don’t be too near to people (you will understand that better when you grow and develop in certain areas of your life).
Singlehood isn’t a curse, its a time to check yourself and help yourself because at the end of the day you will benefit more from good acts and you have those quality behaviors to show to your kids that they can learn from and help them through life as well.
At the end of the day, those nurtured values will help you attract not only the right man but the right people into your life.

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Understanding self-hatred.

When the inner self has been battered with self- criticism you begin to speak negativity to and about yourself. Even when people appreciate something you hate about yourself, you instantly feel they are being deceptive or untruthful.
You gnash your teeth at positive compliments that should build you up. A poor outlook of yourself leaves you feeling bitter most of the time.
One major source of self hatred is childhood experience. A period of time when the child is with his or her Parents. If the child gets demeaning words from parents, guardians or even siblings it would tell on how he or she reacts to self.
A situation whereby one or both Parents never appreciate anything you do or sees you as not “good enough” leaves a scar on your inner self.
Another source is early adulthood, a period of time when you relate with friends either of same or opposite sex. What these people say about you determines how you feel, act and think about yourself.
Self hatred is in stages and it doesn’t just start in a day.
Parents learn to speak positively to your kids. Build love in your home and teach your kids to love one another. Do not condone any form of envy or jealousy among them. And treat them equally without showing that you love one more than the other.

Siblings avoid speaking negatively about each other. Learn to love yourselves because you can never have a sister or a brother anywhere else.

When you begin to grow and mingle with people outside of your family, people called “friends” watch out for those you allow into your cycle. Don’t allow negative people. Relate with people but don’t get too close to someone that breeds negativity of any kind.

Why do you think people hate themselves?
Let me know your suggestions and opinions on what you think causes self-hatred and share your experience.
Feel free to share on twitter, facebook or BBM.

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Ah! It’s sunday again.

As usual sunday is here. Everyone rushing to church to probably get the first seat or look straight into the Pastor’s eyes so the words can sink in.
Or should I say not rushing to church so you can have a back seat and mingle with friends and take a look at who has the nicest shoes or whose dress is gorgeous.
Or better still you stroll to church about the time church is going to end so Mum and Dad won’t say you didn’t go to church.
Any which way, church is Church. You make up the church and you are needed there.

But I have come to realize people have so found solace in deceiving not any other person but themselves.
First before you criticize me, I am a Christian.
But we like to deceive ourselves. Now that you are in church or you are not in church, you feel you are better than the other person who didn’t go or you think you have committed the greatest of sins for not attending church today.
What is your motive for going to church?
Now that you look perfectly dressed outside what about the inside?

Most christians have lost it in this religious race and it is disheartening.
We try to let the world know we are christians but does our actions show we are? Does God even know you are?

The moment every one on earth realizes that God didn’t create us for religion but for relationship, that is when most of those in self-bondage will release themselves. Self-bondage of trying to be holier than others, trying to look decent, trying not to wear make-up because you think it is sinful, trying not wear deodorant(ha!!!) because you think it’s the devil that makes it, trying not to have a relationship with the opposite sex because you feel it would destroy your faith in God. But NOT trying to judge other people. That is the easiest for most people.

Let God be the one in charge stop trying to avoid making mistakes because you will make a whole lot that way.

Avoid pointing fingers at others and you will experience lesser headaches in life.

Live and let live and your joy will overflow.

Listen and learn but sieve out what you think is incorrect(have a mind of your own).

And know that going to church or being a worker or minister doesn’t make you better than those seated in the congregation.
Okay, let me save the rest for later.
Have a blessed sunday and don’t count fine shoes anymore nor look out for who wears brazilian hair.

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